A letter to congress( In the form of a drunk email from a bro at yahoo.com)

Dear Congress,

First off, u guys are my boys! I love u guys, u make all the laws and shit. I mean without you guys we would all be like overrun with alqueda and stuff. And we need peace. We do and that's why I'm writing to ask one simple request. Throughout history there has been one thing that has brought kids together during wars..... and that is music. Remember Woodstock? Millions of hippies and bikers got together and just smoked J's and chilled the fuck out. Now when you think peace you may think Gandi, Martin Luther King jr, or Al Gore, but the greatest of them all is a man called Dave Matthews. This guy is amazing he makes unbelievable music about love and partying, and he's African! But he's white! He is not only a great musician but he is a great role model to black and white people everywhere. In addition his concerts are a great way to bring good kids together to just have fun and appreciate the music.Because in the end it's all about the music. Now that you know how cool DMB is I think now would be a good time to start asking you some reasonable favors. First off you know kids just want to have fun, just love each other in a safe environment and be kids! We're all nervous bout getting our sports scholarships(Harvard. Crossing my fingers.) and we just want to hang out. So here's my plan. We fill the CT XL center with booze. And I mean literally fill it. Now I know this may seem like big request but me and my pal T-bone would be willing to contribute as much money as our parents American express cards would be willing to pay. I'm thinking a 50:50 mix of Dubra and Pabst Blue Ribbon. And wait, best of all we would invite DMB to play a floating concert! Now you're probably sold, the idea of a bunch of kids floating on inexpensive( I took a business class sophomore year) alcohol and listening to peaceful jams is just too cool, so this next request should be no big deal. Let in EVERYONE, who cares if they're under 21? Age is just a number, I mean my girlfriend is a 14 year old freshman and I'm a 19 year old senior, I've been proudly breaking down the age barrier because I accept all people. Alright so now you're wondering how will these kids float? Answer, rafts made of weed bro! I've seen Harold and Kumar and I know you guys have a shitload of medical marijuana that you're just holding out on giving us. So there, you guys have heard my humble request and I can only hope you guys love peace and music as much as I do. Now i have to go throw up, because I was running the table at a game of BP and I need to be ready for round deuce!

One love,
Jason