Top 3 Toys From My Childhood That Looking Back Were Really Fucking Wierd

1. Milton Bradly's "Mister Bucket"

A seemingly innocent game in which you place plastic spheres in an anthropomorphic bucket.

However his tag line is what seals his fate. That tag line is "Put your balls in my mouth!" Not a joke. Just terrible, terrible advertising. I don't have to explain why this is a problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV1hv6L0R74

2. Hasbro Parker Brothers "Don't wake daddy"

The board game that revolves around sneaking around your house, attempting to not wake and subsequently enrage your father. This game brought to mind more questions than answers. Why are daddys own children so afraid of waking him? Why are they so desperate to get to the fridge at night?And most disturbingly why does daddy sleep in a bed by himself? Is he divorced? Is he a widower? What kind of family dynamic is hasbro suggesting? While Don't wake daddy was quite the game on it's own, I'm thinking it should have come packaged with a jigsaw puzzle where you can reassamble daddy's broken marraige.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kndIxjQsw-Q

3. Hasbro's Gator Golf

If my childhood taught me anything, it's that there is nothing more wholesome than using a golf ball to choke an alligator. Here are three facts about Gator Golf I've compiled.

1. Gator Golf is the bastard child of Tiger Woods and Skip Irwin ( Steves homely brother who hunts Alligators. Way to be original Skip.)

2.Gator Golf is the perfect choice if you plan on instilling the values of sports enthusiasts and outspoken poachers in your child.

3. Gator Golf will look perfect on a shelf next to your PGA trophy and your alligator skin PGA trophy case.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8lDfSR_q_s

On a side note: Hasbro's "Operation" also blatently pushed plastic surgery on children.

(hah)