WMD

I mentioned weapons of mass destruction earlier and that got me thinking as to how we as a country handled the situation regarding Saddam Hussein. First off, I feel like the term, weapon of mass destruction is just too heavy. While those who have weapons capable of destructive feats may have previously just thought of them as simple tools of war, the term WMD, automatically made them feel either absurdly bad ass or impotent. Regardless of what Saddam Hussein may have had be it a dirty bomb, or a pack of two year old fountain fireworks, I believe the moment the term WMD was slung he felt a massive wave of guilt. I mean if my third grade teacher started calling chewing gum a "Material of Dental Degradation" I would probably shit my pants due to the pack of juicy fruit in my back pocket(Thus destroying the juicy fruit, an unintended but appreciated side affect.) But I suppose this psychological side affect has to do with the character of the man in question. Saddam Hussein's rigid stance on weapons inspection suggests that there may have been more to the situation than just the terrifying nature of the phrase. I can only imagine the arguments spawned by our insistence on investigating his country coupled with his own stubborn nature. I'd like to think that Saddam said "You want a weapon of mass destruction? Here's your weapon of mass destruction" while grabbing his crotch. However seeing as Saddam was not the sleazy owner of a pool hall I suspect that my fantasy falls slightly short of reality. So to the government of the United States of America I have a list of suggestions for terms used to describe exceedingly dangerous armaments during negotiations that will hopefully have less of a negative and possibly conflict sparking side effect.

Weapon of Palpable Chaos (It's a start)

Tool of Insignificant torment( Actually count that one out due to the acronym)

Courtney Love ( let's be honest, it's a tad beside the point, but who wouldn't want us to come into their country and take Courtney Love, and there is no way in hell they would touch her themselves. SO while they're forming flash mobs and searching for their beloved Cobain's killer( everyone loved Nirvana. And she totally did it.) That's when we investigate.)

USA ( The last and most important acronym of all. This is America. The best reason anyone that's not a communist could give. We don't have to ask, we just deliver a fist full of freedom and kick in the front door.)